Let’s talk about sex part 2 (CASM 12)

In continuing from part one of Let’s talk about sex. We must make it a priority and our responsibility to at least share the horrible consequences of sex before marriage. Sharing the ugliness it brings will help some younger women avoid it instead of trying to figure it out by testing it out. This is a call to be open and vulnerable and tell of the shame but also how God cleansed us and still used us. I understand that it can be hard and painful to share details of our lives. Just know you could be helping to spare someone the agony if you do. You would be helping these women make choices for Jesus and stand firm equipped to withstand temptation. Pray and ask God for guidance on how to share because it’s needed for this generation and beyond.

Consequences of premarital sex

Not only is pregnancy a consequence of premarital sex, but you now have comparisons and images stamped on your brain. The men you engaged in having sex, you will begin to compare them. Most damaging, you will compare your husband to those men. Also due to these encounters, they can come back to memory and you will find yourself desiring and meditating on the wrong man instead of your husband. Do know there is a flip side. If your husband or future husband engaged in premarital sex he has comparisons and images stamped on his brain. Now you are dealing with insecurities and questioning if your sex is better than the women he has been with before. It’s an attack on your mind. Reference The command center CASM 8.

Let’s talk about diseases. In the heat of the moment and when the lights are low, and the mood is right we can’t imagine this fine man having a sexually transmitted disease (STD). He doesn’t look sick and he dresses nice, he must be clean. I don’t think men would make it that obvious for us and stamp their foreheads that they have a disease. Now, let me say this if you are thinking to avoid a disease or pregnancy I’ll have him wear a condom, problem solved. You ought to be ashamed of yourself. If you stand by that thought please do not come alongside someone and instill that lie in them that premarital sex is ok as long as they don’t get caught up. Remember you have to stand before the Lord and give an account for that thought and all your thoughts.

More consequences

Premarital sex blinds our judgment. Things that we normally wouldn’t accept suddenly are minimized, justified, and dismissed. He doesn’t pray or go to church, may not have a job, likes to party, spends money he doesn’t have. Those red flags and deal-breakers that we were firm about we now find ourselves making exceptions for them. The Holy Spirit is warning and informing us of issues and we chalk it up to we are overreacting. Sadly, most women think they can change a man but in the process of trying to raise his standards, she lowers hers.

Well from all the exploring we did in our twenties and early thirties by the time we get to our late thirties and early forties and look back we have all this emotional and mental baggage chained to us. No wonder we are dysfunctional in our thinking and we believe the lies of the devil. No one wants me or loves me, I am no good and not worthy, God can’t use somebody like me. It shouldn’t surprise us that we’re not gravitating towards God-fearing, Bible-believing men to marry and lead us. It’s not shocking we are passing this pattern down to our children and our children’s children. We certainly can heal from all this and move forward but it is a challenge. Sharing this information ahead of time could help some young women avoid this pit of darkness and isolation.

Testimony

Our testimony matters. Remember people are watching some for condemnation and others to determine if they want to follow you. Why do we follow people? We follow them because their life is going in a direction we want ours to go. It’s ok that your past was a mess, but your present must reflect Jesus. A hypocrite is someone that puts on a false appearance a person that acts in contradiction to her stated beliefs. Don’t let that be you.

In conclusion

There are many more reasons or examples that I could share, or you could share on this topic. This definitely starts the conversation. I occasionally think about how beautiful it would have been to give myself only to my husband. To bask in his love and to grow and explore together. Young woman if you still have your purity enjoy and delight in it. Thank God for it and let no one defile or devalue it. Cherish, guard and protect it. It’s precious and priceless. Surround yourself with women laser-focused on righteousness. Pray and ask Jesus for the strength, courage, and endurance to wait for the husband of His choosing.

Young woman if you don’t have your purity. Do not believe the lies that you can’t from this moment forward stand in purity. Don’t allow pressures of society, peer groups, and men to cause you to continue to defile yourself. Be swift not to cater to your carnal needs, wants, and desires because after the moment is over emptiness and shame start all over again. Choose to no longer put yourself in those situations that cause you to compromise. You may be bruised but allow God to use you to be the example to come alongside a young woman. You may be the difference between that young woman protecting her purity or defiling her purity.

God has blotted out our transgressions to remember them no more. Therefore, we can stand before the Lord Jesus Christ draped in white because of His cleansing power. Amen