If it’s not being talked about in homes in my opinion the church is the next best place. It’s a safe place. It can be organized and structured and does not have to be part of the Sunday morning service. A women’s Bible study in church or someone’s home is a great option. This could be a topic at a women’s retreat as well. I know churches share with their congregations that premarital sex is a sin and God forbid sex before marriage. Is it enough?
In my conversations with others, the conclusion is most churches are not talking about it in-depth and it’s needed. There’s a sermon for faithfulness, marriage, bitterness, lying, and tithing but sex seems to be missing. I certainly am qualified to talk about why we shouldn’t and so are many of you, but why aren’t we? Being able to relate is not one of my proudest or finest moments. I certainly am not uplifting the human or fleshy parts of our lives, but it’s real. God has allowed me to speak on it in hopes that one or two or many will decide to wait on God and avoid the spiritual, mental, physical, and emotional garbage that comes along with it.
When we were teenagers
I was a tomboy and it seemed like overnight I turned into a full-out girly-girly. I started caring about what my hair and clothes looked like, dirt and worms were no longer important. Dolls were for babies and boys were no longer gross. For those of you that have children. Stop looking at them with the side-eye and contemplating locking them in their rooms until they are 30. Stop thinking that if we don’t talk about sex, it doesn’t exist, and they won’t engage in it.
People that you think are not having sex are, and people that you think are having sex aren’t in some cases. Think back to when you were a teenager. You may not have engaged in the actual activity but maybe went to first base. You had thoughts and created some questionable pictures in your mind. All this can lead to physical activity if we are not guarding our hearts especially if we have ungodly people in our ears. We all have hormones no matter what age we are and some of us are secretly in sin. You know what you need to do.
Encouraging sex
Why are we not talking about the negative consequences of sex before marriage to those younger women? Why are we not trying to guard them against impurity, shame, and disappointment? You know what is so disheartening to hear, is when people say to the twenty and thirty-year-olds this is the time to explore. Sow your wild oats to see what you want, you have to test drive the car before you buy it. It’s more disheartening to hear a Christian say that, a follower of Jesus a believer of the Holy Bible. Words matter and can precipitate a decision and so can actions. Beware these young women are watching you and the acts you engage in. Your actions may imply that premarital sex is acceptable.
Some of us are encouraging young people to disobey God and defile their bodies. We think it’s ok until they turn up pregnant, OOPS we didn’t mention that when we were telling them to explore. Now they have an unexpected pregnancy and they are asking themselves what do I do now. They had goals and dreams of conquering the world and a baby was not part of it. Can you guess what the next decision they are about to make? Let me tell you, do I keep the baby or do I have an abortion. Sin always takes you further than you want to go and impacts more people than you realize.
I have much more to say on this topic, there is definitely a part two.
I found this to be very impactful and important! Thank you for being so bold to share your personal triumphs.
Michelle, Thank you for reading the blog and your comment. It is a blessing to share what Jesus has done and is doing in my life. Your support is also a blessing, thank you again!
Thank you Carol! As a mom of a teen boy, and 5 more to follow….. I know we will have to come across this topic more often. I am wondering if there are any books, besides the Bible, that could come along their lives too. And also an extra tool to help us parents out! I am not looking forward to this conversations with them, but you’re right…. it is SO important! Thanks for being real and truthful!! Even when it’s uncomfortable topics that need said!
Ashley, Praise God for your children and making this topic and others a priority. Educating them according to the Word and not the world. I have a book from Focus on the Family, The Focus on The Family Guide to Talking with Your Kids about Sex. I have not read it so I can’t back it up completely but looking at the table of contents it seems to be a valuable tool. I certainly can get that to you and maybe at some point you can share your thoughts about it. Also, if anyone can recommend some good books that would be helpful please share.
This is a much needed topic. It is definitely better for kids to learn about it from the parents. In my case, my parents didn’t talk to me about it. That cycle continued, therefore, I didn’t talk about it with my child as a teenager. In both instances it was just… Don’t Do It. When I learned better, I began to have those conversations with my adult child at 20yrs old until today. And the conversations will continue. I believe it’s never too late to start the teaching process. In some instances, it can’t be too early because kids are being exposed to all kinds of sexual content in many forms! Thank you for shedding light on this subject.
Lisa, I agree it is never too late and in some cases not too early. The world should not be the teacher of our future generations. Thank you for sharing!