There have been times when something from my past has come back up, and I think to myself, I dealt with that. It confuses me then I begin to question did I forgive the person or people that hurt me. I go back to God and confess and ask for forgiveness again. This process has repeated itself multiple times throughout my life. Why?
Before I share the why, we genuinely have to make sure we forgave the individual(s) or the situation. You know if you did or didn’t. You know what your heart and mind are toward them and the situation. If you are constantly plotting and planning to get back at them or you desire horrible things to take place in their life, it’s safe to say there is a forgiveness issue. If you constantly rehash the details regularly and have ungodly thoughts, I encourage you to check in with Jesus. There is an issue.
Bullies
Bullies were a regular part of my life through high school. It was a very hurtful and stressful time for me. I felt robbed of my education and some experiences because I was always in survival mode. Fast forward into adulthood. Confronting my past and pain was something I knew I must do. I poured everything out to the Lord and truly forgave my bullies, but whenever I heard about someone being bullied, I would become bothered. I would constantly say I dealt with that and would become upset that it was bothering me. The Holy Spirit gave me a revelation that it was not a forgiveness issue, it was me relating my feelings and emotions to the pain of someone being hurt by a bully.
When I would hear of someone encountering bullies, I didn’t want vengeance it just made me sad for them. Due to my emotions and feelings, I wanted to comfort them through the pain. I didn’t go into a downward spiral or a deep sorrow when thinking about my experience. Praise God by His power we can forgive, but the emotional connection to an experience will always be there. Our feelings and emotions need to be brought under the obedience of Christ so we are not making decisions according to them but by the Holy Spirit. There are more details about my experience with bullies in the audio.
In conclusion
You are normal. The whole process of forgiveness can take some time. Always aim for it and when you get there praise God and leap for joy. Feelings and emotions are real and will always be a part of us and our experiences. Utilize the Bible and Holy Spirit to distinguish between a forgiveness issue and if you are connecting because of your emotions.
ACTION ITEM(S)
- Is there something that periodically comes up that you say I dealt with that?
- Analyze your heart and mind towards people and situations to know if you have a forgiveness issue.
- Emotions can be good if we are using them in accordance with the Bible and Holy Spirit.
By far one of my favorite posts! Thank you for this reminder Carol!
Sorry you had to go through that stage it’s so sad when people bully. I don’t get it. I pray my eyes are open to this if I ever do it that the Holy Spirit convicts me!!
But praise the LORD you handled it correctly!
We all have some area with this I’m sure we can connect with and you’re so right about surrendering it to the Lord! Other wise it can eat at us! Over and over and over until we do. He wants us to share our pain with Him!
Love you sweet friend
Your work for the Lord is visible ❤️
Ashley, Thank you! It was a difficult time for me. Even though I didn’t realize it at the time, God was protecting, guiding, and maturing me. He also showed me by His power alone, forgiveness is possible. Thank you for your continual support, encouragement, and prayers!!!