It can be tempting to want to accelerate to the next level of our lives. Of course, looking back I am so thankful God didn’t give me some of those things I thought I would die without. One of the things I am extremely thankful for is that He gave me grace in enjoying my singleness. It didn’t happen overnight, and it was an uphill battle. I had to slow down and think about why I even wanted to be married. I began to call on the Lord, but my prayers were not where they needed to be. God wanted to give me Him. I wanted God to give me the man. He wanted me to learn of Him and rely on Him for everything. I wanted something I was not ready for. Receiving God’s love needed to be the priority before I could ever properly receive the love of a husband. God desired my heart and for Him to be my first love above anything else.
Learning to be a Christian
God also needed to teach me how to be a Christian before I could be a wife. I’m going to be a Christian regardless if I am single or married. He took me through Jesus’ boot camp a few times. It was a lot of tears, denial, temper tantrums, and running away, but then I started running towards Him. I started being transformed into His image. What pleased Him started to become more important to me. It was an ongoing journey to strip me of all those things that molded me and shaped my views. Just like an onion that has so many layers to it, that is my journey. Studying the scriptures about God’s character taught me how to think, speak, behave, wait, and so much more.
Preparation and contentment
In preparation for potentially being a wife, I studied scriptures on marriage and read some books on the topic. I also talked to Christian married women. Now, in talking to these women, not every woman had a God-standard marriage. They shared how God brought them through or is bringing them through some difficult times. Those women being open and transparent gave me an understanding that dependence on the Lord was the only way to endure a challenging marriage. God revealed to me my own selfishness. The attitude of, I want what I want when I want it, and you better make it happen, God dealt with me.
I can’t pinpoint the time but at some point, God gave me contentment and confidence that I didn’t need to settle for less than God’s best for me. Singleness was no longer a death sentence. He gave me a new outlook on serving Him and others. He put wonderful people in my life to fellowship with. Being single became a delight and an opportunity to explore my interest. It no longer consumed me, the desire was there but in its place and not above God.
God’s Love
In general, we know that God loves us. He displayed the ultimate act of love by allowing Jesus to die in our place for the forgiveness of our sins. The challenge is on an individual level of believing that He loves us with all of our flaws and inadequacies. We tend to look at God in the way we look at people or even ourselves. We can judge for condemnation, walk away when things get tough, and were easily provoked to say hurtful words. Our actions and motives can be questionable. Unfortunately, as humans, we struggle with love and it can be so hard for us to accept that God loves us unconditionally.
Whatever you are trying to accelerate in slow down and let God love you. Many times we want to force an outcome because we are running or avoiding something. I wanted to be rescued and if I had married at that time I would have created more dysfunction for myself and others. Most importantly, my relationship and connection with the Lord would’ve suffered because my efforts would have been towards something that was out of God’s will and timing.
In conclusion
Taking the time to slow down and think about why you are accelerating, will help you avoid some things that you may not be able to undo. Ask yourself why and then be willing to address those issues head-on with the Lord. Opportunities to slow down do not only apply to those major life decisions. It can be a simple everyday ordinary task that you are accelerating in. Go deeper and ask yourself why. Push through the fear. Remember God is not like us, we are created in His image. That means we are capable of giving and receiving God’s love.
ACTION ITEM(S)
- Do you need to slow down in something?
- Why are you accelerating?
- What are some things you are thankful for that God did not give you that you thought you would die without?
- Pray to wholly and completely receive God’s love and give His love.
This is great teaching! There is a saying, “Good things come to those who wait”, but I no longer want to settle for the good things!! I want all the GOD THINGS He has planned for me!!!
Thank you for allowing us to come alongside you 😇
Lisa, Amen to that! I truly appreciate you being willing to come alongside me. Thank you
Some really good advice. I think women are conditioned through media and other imagery to move expeditiously into the societal model of wife and mother primarily because society says it is the right thing to do. We don’t (at least I didn’t) realize that being married or single is a gift from God (1 Corinthians 7:7-8). As I look back over my life as a single person, and now as a married person, I can see how God was changing/arranging/rearranging my life even though I was impatient, anxious, and eager to beat the “biological clock” and other things. I agree that we need to pump the brakes, study God’s Word, and let Him operate in His own time. Thank you.
Margaret, Amen! Both marriage and singleness is a gift from the Lord. If we are not careful we will follow society instead of God in our decision making. Thank you!
Amen! We live in a fast passed word today. Everything is at our fingertips we can long snd check out emails and access accounts etc so quickly. Anything we need , right there! I believe we try to keep up with that if we aren’t careful! The fast passed, go go go , now now now world. Back in the day I believe it was a little easier to do this. Nevertheless, it’s not an excuse. Rather a warning that we need what you said! Slow down!
There are several things I can apply this to and will be praying through.
Thanks Carol ❤️
Ashley, I totally agree! It has become an expectation to have things readily available and accessible, including ourselves. We have to make sure we are using our time wisely, we can’t get it back. Thank you for your comment!