We reminisce about Sunday dinners at grandma’s house and the annual family reunion. Everyone together for the holidays with the house full of laughter and our favorite foods. Children at play, snowball fights, sled riding, and then the reality sets in that it’s someone else’s life. We created a nostalgia that never happened. Sadness starts to set in, tears fill our eyes, and our heart begins to break. There was a time when that was me.
Reality
Sometimes we watch a movie or commercial and wish our life or family was like that. It’s easy to get caught up in a ninety-minute movie and think a family is perfect. Everyone gets along and love is always in the air. If there are any issues they will be fixed by the end of the movie and everyone will be on one accord. 99.9% of the time that is not the reality. Unfortunately, families are broken and damaged and it’s more prevalent than I had realized. It didn’t bring me joy that so many families were torn apart but it allowed me to see that the movies were a temporary distraction.
These distractions created a false and distorted view of reality. It caused me not to deal with my issues because I submerged myself into a fake life. I blamed others and held grudges. I also didn’t appreciate or try to make things right with my own family. In doing that, years went by, loved ones died, and connections were broken. What I learned was to accept that we all have hurts, but not to allow those hurts to drive a wedge in between love. I also learned to love people where they are and not what I want them to be.
Be open
The brokenness of the family unit is disheartening, painful, and at times unbearable. The void may be created by a loss of a family member or a hurtful circumstance. Our God is a healer and provider. Although your healing may not come through your family, God will heal and provide through an alternative. Be open to God providing a mother, father, sibling, aunt, uncle, cousin, grandparent, or friend willing to step in who needs you just as much as you need them. Blessings come in all shapes, sizes, and colors. Don’t let your lack of openness cause you to overlook new and meaningful nostalgia.
God is presenting a new thing
I love my family, but as I went through life, God began to present and incorporate new people into it. These people became family to me but not by blood. We talk, share, cry, and laugh together. We pray, love, and include each other in our activities. If I remained stuck on the nostalgia that never happened, I wouldn’t have been able to recognize and appreciate the new relationships God was presenting to me. He filled those voids with beautiful random people that have become some of my greatest blessings. New amazing memories are being created for me because I let go of the past and choose to receive the new opportunities God is presenting to me through my family and others.
In conclusion
It’s ok to think back over memories that are good or bad for reflection, but keep a God perspective and don’t get stuck in the past. Sometimes we reminisce too long on the good ole days or something hurtful, and that is where our life stops. God is about forging forward in purpose and intends for us to do business with Him and for Him as long as we have air in our lungs. Those memories you wish you had, surrender the pain and disappointment to Jesus and let Him heal and present you with new ones. We are the Lord’s vessels. He is using others to bless you, make yourself available to bless others.
ACTION ITEM(S)
- Have you created and longed for nostalgia that has never happened?
- Are you stuck on past memories good or bad?
- Are you open to God presenting a new thing or an alternative for your brokeness?
- Pray for your blood family and for your Jesus family.
This is another “drop the mic” blog! Thank you for your transparency. There are so many deep and painful contentions in families because of those false realities presented to us in so many fashions. I’m learning to face and accept reality while being open to the “New Thing” God promised!
People say often you can pick your friends but not your family. When I hear that statement, the scripture comes to mind when the disciples say to Jesus behold thy mother and thy brother. Jesus’ reply was …who is my mother, who is my brother? The one who does the will of my Father is my mother and my brother (paraphrasing). That lets me know that sometimes we may be separated from some of the people we are related to by blood to be joined to those whom God will connect us in the Spirit. I’m all for the family and everything else God has prepared for me.
This is a great eye opener so we can see where we need to shift our focus.
Lisa, Thank you for your comment and openness to God doing a new thing. I’m so grateful to the Lord for building and nurturing new relationships and mending some family relationships. I’m in continued prayer for the family unit.
Carol,
This post makes my heart ache and brings tears to my eyes. I am stuck in the past in so many ways. The nostalgia that never came sums up the overwhelming sadness I feel at times for the “what could have been” or the “why did I even bother”?! At this moment I don’t have any wise words just want any others who may read the comments to know they are not alone.
Thank you for this post.
Heidi, Well said. Keeping you in my prayers that the new things God is doing in and through you will eventually over shadow the past. Others will be blessed by your comment.