Sarcasm, ridicule, teasing, and excessive joking are dismissive language and behaviors that mock or irritate someone for your amusement. They are words that hurt, criticize, and make someone look silly or bad in front of others. Dismissive language can send a relationship into a downward spiral and quickly. Getting laughs and a high five at the expense of hurting someone is evil. Creating pain with your words so you can be the life of the party is rude, immature, narcissistic, unnecessary, and should not be a way of life for the Christian. We must be careful when we use these types of words and then say we are just playing, check your motive. There is nothing wrong with having a playful side just ask yourself would Jesus do or say it that way.
Sticks and stones…
The saying “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me” is false. Some words have hurt me more than others and I still remember them. My words have also done damage to others. Our hearts can be littered with garbage-filled words, and what is in our hearts eventually comes out in our vocabulary and actions. In that moment of rage and an emotional-driven rant, relationships have severed and never recovered. Although a person may be physically present, they have become numb to emotional connection. They refuse to let you in, and unfortunately, love is not fully given or received.
When the respect is gone
When you no longer care if your words hurt someone, that’s a clear sign that you don’t respect them. People can usually deal with someone’s issues when they’re nice to them, but when nasty, filthy words replace kind words, loyalty and trust begin to diminish. Using belittling words wounds and breaks the spirit. It creates resentment. Dismissive behaviors do not produce unity, it doesn’t show you cherish or value a person. Everyone has a breaking point. You do not get to pick if and when someone physically walks away or emotionally disconnects from you. Many people (Christians) live a lonely existence because mocking and a cynical attitude have isolated them from others.
A brother offended is harder to be won than a strong city: And their contentions are like the bars of a castle. Proverbs 18:19 KJV
Forgiveness
If you are the person that has driven a wedge in between a relationship because of dismissive language, you need to ask for forgiveness. First, from the Lord Jesus and then from the person that your words pierced. Asking for forgiveness is a sign of your maturity, trust, and obedience to Christ and also that you care about the other person’s well-being. Along with asking for forgiveness should come a sincere change in your vocabulary.
For those of you that may deserve an apology. Your commitment to follow, and serve the Lord, and forgive the abuser of words, is not contingent upon if you get a sincere apology. Take it to the Lord and allow the Holy Spirit to comfort and guide you in His love. This can be a challenge, but if we start counting how many times Christ forgave every wicked word, thought, and action we committed against Him, it would take multiple lifetimes. Remember, everyone has a soul that God is interested in and He will use all situations to draw them. Pray and ask God to give you a pure and genuine heart to forgive them and the supernatural ability to move beyond the hurt for the advancement of God’s kingdom.
In conclusion
We must guard our relationship with Christ so we don’t become hard-hearted towards others because of their unkind words. Pray for a soft, pliable heart for them and you. Ask for humility for all involved because at any given moment, roles can change, and you could become the abuser of words.
ACTION ITEM(S)
- Has dismissive language become more prevalent in your conversations? If so, why?
- Have you hurt others with your words? Do you need to sincerely ask for forgiveness?
- Pray for a soft heart for yourself and others.
YES this is so true. We really have to be careful how we construct the words that come out of our mouths (death or life)!! Often times people don’t vocalize how our words affect them. I sure don’t want any one to suffer or fall apart from something I said!
Thank you for this reminder!!
Lisa, Words really do matter as well as the tone in which we say them. Mindfulness is so important when engaging people. Thankful for your comment!!!